sunset in time

The sunkissed sounds of balmy nights and summer breezes, smoky lounges and sandy beaches are bended together. Man has lived a long time the way he has lived - human nature is eternal. Therefore, one who follows his nature keeps his original nature, in the end. Living in a world full of confusion, is like living in a world full of lies, full of disappointments, and a world of nothing but illusions; being trapped into a world like this, a fear of never being able to find that way out, the only door that leads to the way out, just so conveniently always seems to be lost. Wishing that you could disappear and hide yourself from all the pain that is caused in this world, hide yourself from the lies, the hates and your own thoughts is to find the balance - but better search and sincerely plead for hope. Each day goes by slowly; I try to be creative with time. But I know not every opportunity is for me to grab. What was it like for us to wait? What did we do while we were waiting? What thoughts went through our mind? I look at my family and friends and I realize that they are waiting, for me to give them my time and undivided attention. While I am dreaming about big things in life, I see what (or who) is more important – people, who need to be touched, known, and heard. Only the prepared will overcome the trials and temptations. We are never to lose compassion and care for others, even if they are miles or oceans away from us. All mankind is of one author, and is one volume; when one man dies, one chapter is not torn out of the book, but translated into a better language; and every chapter must be so translated. As therefore the bell that rings to a sermon, calls not upon the preacher only, but upon the congregation to come: so this bell calls us all: but how much more me, who am brought so near the door by this sickness. No man is an island, entire of itself; any man’s death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind; and therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee. Time goes by fast. Sometimes I get panicky thinking about how I spend each day. When I wake up in the morning, I wonder how I will spend that day. When I go to sleep, I look back and wonder what I’ve done on that day. I had much to do each day and spent it without much thinking. I knew I was moving upward, making progress. I feel as though I need to be out there, doing something for the humanity as well. But I have to remind myself being proceeds doing. What I do will never give me a sense of who I am. That’s not me anyway. I am much deeper than what others perceive me as; even before I try to make my name known in the world or to leave my footprint. No one can tell me that I am invalid because I am and not do. Because I am present in this world, the world is already a different place. Although I might not be doing something fantastic out there, my silence and quietitude do make a difference. My slowing down protests this fast-paced, work and achievement-driven society. Sometimes you get a better glimpse of your world when you step out of it. Many things you thought were of utmost importance might not be as important as you think. Also we might be able to look at ourselves more clearly, because all our masks are down. There is nothing like human words that can either throw one into despair or revive one’s soul. But as I struggle each day to find hope and comfort, I am beginning to understand the verses. Fear is a powerful force. It can paralyze us or empower us to do something we can’t possibly imagine doing with a rational mind. Fear is the absence of security. And living in an insecure world, we know what fear feels like. Fear grips us. The sense of peace is nowhere to be found. In the minds of the fearful we are always the victims. The aggressors are out there to get us. We feel we have to defend ourselves at any cost. It is ironic that we have to buy guns to protect ourselves against gun violence. Our sense of moral superiority is another protection against our fear. In this unpredictable, chaotic world we’d like to believe that we are on the good side. I wonder how many of us truly live a hopeful life each day. We can look forward to different things as we face a new day – meeting someone, eating meals, accomplishing something you wanted. But if your life is like mine and today is not much different from yesterday and tomorrow will be not much different from today, we need something beyond our mundane life to keep us going – hope. Not expecations but hope. Hope is the borometer of our spiritual welbeing, I believe. A well-nurtured and grounded spirit is hopeful, regardless of the cirumstances one is in. Emptiness and despair are the opposite of hope. As we have seen, a hopeless soul is destructive not only to oneself but to others. But a hopeful one revives not only oneself but can resucitate others as well. Advent is a time of inner searching, when hope, anticipation and introspection are active in our souls. Perhaps my creativity will come in when I put my effort in connecting with others more meaningfully, when I offer my help in my brokenness, insecurity and doubts to others who are making the same journey. Perhaps the opportune time is here and now. It is up to us how we make of it; or even make it better.

People who like to travel can't wait to put themselves into the role of the wanderer, the visitor, the stranger passing through, and, sometimes, unfortunately, the victim. I have no idea why, but I am one of those people. It's just that, having done it, I get this incredible rush – a feeling of accomplishment completely absent from my suburban roots - discovering real people, real cultures and having incredible real life experiences along the way. Probably anyone knows the exciting feeling when you are thinking and planning a new trip to some distant places. If you believe in what you are doing, then let nothing hold you up. Much of the best things of the world has been done against seeming impossibilities. The thing is to get it done for real.